Friday 5 October 2012

Evaluating Intercultural Behaviour


I've always been under the impression that we lived in a culturally homogeneous society; for the most part of my life , I was brought up that way. We celebrate Christmas along with Chinese new year, a perfect mash of the yin and the yang's. Culturally , I identified myself as an ethnic Chinese but at the same time I exemplified western behavior.

I grew up on a staple diet of western television ; Power Rangers , The Mask  & Captain Planet to name a few, but at the same time was equally hooked on Korean , Taiwanese and Hong Kong dramas . Subliminally, cultural and societal norms were being hardwired into my make. For instance I know for a fact that the Americans call the tissue , Kleenex, and the plaster a band aid. I also know that they attend junior and high school in place of our primary and secondary school system all without stepping one foot on the American soil. But in spite of the many things I know , there are a lot more things that I'm ignorant about.

I recalled a trip I had with my family to Hanoi a couple of years back. Upon clearing the customs I was tasked with bringing the luggages to the allocated bus waiting for us at the depot, while my parent and my sister went to exchange money at the local money changer. As I was pulling or some might say dragging the many luggage towards the bus about 300 metres away; evidently struggling.  A young Vietnamese boy upon seeing my plight quickly dashed over to where I was.

" Do you need any help sir?" he asked empathetically.

I could have sworn I saw an angel that day, or perhaps it was the blistering heat that made me see things.

"Yes... please" I said as I pointed towards the bus to what must have been a kilometer away.

He caught my gist, Enthusiastically he picked up 2 of the 3 luggage that I was dragging and carried it towards the bus.

"oh my, what a friendly and helpful kid." I thought to myself, " he must have had really good upbringing!".

Upon reaching the bus , I made it a point to thank that boy profusely. But the young man just stood there and kept starring at me the whole time like he was expecting something more.

Wasn't I sincere enough? Perhaps he expected a hug?

I smiled awkwardly at him ,clearly at a lost on what to do next. The bus driver soon caught on to what was happening and signaled to me by rubbing his fingers together.

" Oh money!" I gasped, perhaps a little too loud.

I hurriedly sunk my hands into my back pocket to reach for my wallet, but all I could find was a lone USD$100 note which my mum had handed to me before we landed. Most reluctantly , I handed over that sole note that I had.  

What I later found out was that it was customary for the locals to help out tourists at the airport  for a small fee . Whereas in Singapore it would be considered touting; which is illegal in Singapore.

But I took away an important lesson that day , that we should always strive to be culturally aware especially when you are in foreign territory. I had made the assumption that I was all knowing about the world but boy was I wrong. It was truly a humbling experience to say the least!


Cultural Self Awareness

You are who you think you are, because somewhere along the way ,someone told you that in the first place! Likewise we practice certain cultures not because we are of that culture, or from that culture but because along the way someone handed it down to you. Culturally I'm an ethic Chinese, but I do not practise all of the Chinese culture. Sure, I do celebrate Chinese new year like the rest of the Chinese populace but compared to my Chinese counterparts from the rest of the world , there is a noticeable difference in the way I act or carry myself. It then begs the question, does that make me any less of a Chinese? Am I who I am because of my culture? Who defines what should be the proper Chinese culture anyway? To be honest I do not have all the answers. But if I had one , culture isn't just something you do or act; it goes deeper than that. At the end of the day, it is a mindset.

Knowledge of cultural worldview frameworks

As earlier elucidated in the above paragraphs , I had thought that I was all knowing about the world. But alas was I wrong! What I realized is that we cannot know everything. But this is no excuse to stay ignorant, especially in light of our technological advancement and the prevalence of the world wide web as a medium and source of information.

Empathy

We tend to view the world through our own colored lens. Looking at a white piece of paper through our red lens we assume that the paper is red. Along the way , another person looks at the same piece of paper through a yellow lens and inevitably a scuffle ensues between both parties. Who is right? well , neither is because the paper is white. Similarly  our perspective on world issues are tainted with an invisible coloured lens - depending on the way you are brought up ,and largely in part, influenced by your culture. What we should do then, is to take a step into the other parties shoe and try to think from his/her perspective. Perhaps we might even see the white paper in the end.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

Different cultures have different distinct communication styles. Even down to a simple greeting, in Singapore we generally shake hands, whereas in certain parts of Asia, like Japan , Korea and Myanmar they bow . While these medium of communication may be different , their intended message are the same.  I recalled a situation i encountered while i was working in an engineering firm , The regional manager from America had just flown into Singapore for a meeting, after the meeting ended, the Manager went round the meeting room to shake everybody's hands. When it came to my colleague from Myanmar she bowed instead of shaking his hands, leaving his hand hanging . It was a really awkward moment to say the least. To me, it felt a little rude.  I couldn't understand then, why she couldn't reciprocate his gesture, after all it was just a simple handshake. I later found out from her that a bow was considered more respectful than a handshake.

Curiosity & Openness

I have always been relatively receptive to peoples culture , perhaps being in Singapore, a land of many cultures have honed that about me. But whist evaluating this portion I do recognize that I'm not a very proactive person, as in I do not actively seek out different people to hold a conversation with. I'm happy to observe from a distance and draw my inference from there. 

10 comments:

  1. Ouch!! that was a lot to pay for help with your luggage:)) But I guess thsi is why, as you said, it's useful to know about these practices when you travel.

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    1. Indeed it was! Since then i always made it a point to carry smaller domination when in foreign territory.

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  2. Wow! What an interesting story! I would imagine myself laughing over it if it were me. Anyway, I couldn’t agree with you more on the point that ‘there should not be any excuses for us to be ignorant’. After all, information’s just a click away right? Keep up the good attitude of wanting to know more Yechuan! I remember there’s this saying, and I hope it encourages you as it did for me - “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.” So keep it up!

    I guess we all should learn more about the fundamentals of non-verbal communication styles of other cultures so that when we meet people not from our own cities, we can and will be able to appreciate the way they present themselves before others (:

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    1. You flatter me.
      Learning is indeed a life long process, especially in light of how fast everything is changing.

      What you know about a certain culture may then change with time as well so its always good to keep up to date with the world.

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  3. LOL! one hundred dollars? what did your parents say=p

    "Similarly our perspective on world issues are tainted with an invisible coloured lens - depending on the way you are brought up ,and largely in part, influenced by your culture. What we should do then, is to take a step into the other parties shoe and try to think from his/her perspective."

    I can't agree with you more! Culture, race, ethnicity they all seem to group us one way or the other. Capitalism, the idea that we all own something combeined with our natural instinct think in terms of we vs. them, brings natural conflict. But in the end, aren't we all just one species. the earth we inhabit in, doesnt it belong to all?

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    1. While its true that we are all but humans,it would be fallacious to claim that differences don't exist. Humans inevitably pass judgments and stereotypes. But what we can do is not to deny those differences but to learn to accept and understand them.

      Sometimes i feel people judge others based on convenience rather than legitimacy ; if they took the time to learn/understand where the other party is coming from, perhaps...just perhaps-things would be much different.

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  4. Hi there! Your experience was very interesting - the boy must have been overjoyed! "We tend to view the world through our own colored lens" which is why we have stereotypes. I feel these stereotypes do have a role in shaping what others think about our culture. For example, people from other countries would associate Singaporeans with the way we speak(Wikipedia even has a page on Singlish!). With that, we assume that everyone from a particular culture will behave in the same way. However,this is not true at all because one person does not represent the whole culture.
    Stereotypes are dangerous, and could have led to the recent cultural conflicts on Facebook.

    Yup, who defines how a proper Chinese/Malay/Indian should behave?

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    1. He probably was. haha.

      Indeed ,i have to agree with your point on stereotypes. While it may be true to certain extent, it most certainly doesn't apply to everyone!

      Are you by any chance referring to the recent Amy cheong incident on Facebook? I believe stereotypes had a part to play in the incident but what was more apparent to me in the aftermath of the blowup was a lack of cultural tolerance .Both on the part of amy cheong and our fellow netizens. Some of the comments directed to her were equally or if not even more inflammatory then her initial statements.

      But really, what was i expecting? This is the internet for crying out loud!

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  5. Hi Yechuan,I see that you have put much thought into this. It is clear that you have learnt from your experiences and i guess it is impossible for us to know exactly what we should and should not do in every situation. What is most important is that we make the effort to try. I am sure that if we do make a mistake because of pure ignorance, it is forgivable and people from the other race/ culture practices will understand. Also, i feel that culture is one that is constantly evolving and we are subconsciously adapting to these changes. We ourselves embody the culture that we have grown up in, and there is no need to doubt yourself, or question if you are leading the "Chinese" way of life correctly or not.


    P.S. I am very concerned about the $100 USD! maybe you could have waited for you mother to meet you before tipping the little boy? That way, you could have saved alot more money!! i hope you werent' scolded for doing so ;)

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    1. Thanks Xue Hui,
      We learn as we go along i guess. The thing about learning is that it must be complemented with practice in order for us to internalize the concepts. Very much so for intercultural communication. As such i do not think i'm up there yet, or i have fully "learnt from my experience". But everyday's a new opportunity and i believe i'm getting there.

      Ahh... the foolish things we do sometimes in panic. Its been way too long for me to remain concerned over. haha.

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