Tong Yechuan
53 Sunset Drive
Singapore 876543
53 Sunset Drive
Singapore 876543
September 16 , 2012
11 Biopolis Way
#10-10 Helios
Singapore 138667
Dear HR Manager,
I am writing to express my interest in
Joining Bruker AXS Singapore for the position of Service engineer as advertised
on Jobstreet.
The job description of a service engineer
is a challenging one. However I trust that my background and strong technical
knowledge in the field of Engineering will make me a very suitable candidate
for the post.
Prior to my undergraduate days at NUS, I
was working part time as a Sales Engineer at Gauging & Automation Pte Ltd.
During my time at Gauging, I was exposed to various technical products, from
ultrasonic clamp on flow meters to oil on water level detection systems. Being
in the front line as a sales engineer I am required to be well versed technically,
on the various engineering products that we carry. Despite being fresh in the sales scene, I did
not disappoint ,and was able to meet my employer’s sales target every single month.
Being a sales Engineer meant that daily interaction with clients were unavoidable
, effective communication skills were integral in carrying out my role
successfully . I am also effectively bilingual , with strong spoken command of
Both English and Mandarin.
Additionally my two years experience as a
Combat Engineer in the Singapore Armed Forces has expanded my horizon on
engineering military hardware. Being a Bridging operator , I have had firsthand
experience on handling various
engineering military equipment. My two years in the Army has taught me how to
work with people from all walks of life ,especially on how to work in teams. I
am very honored to have had received the accolade of company best solider during
my service.
I find this job post very enticing and am
excited, at the prospects of the opportunity to receive training overseas. Should you find me suitable, do contact me at
123@nus.edu.sg ,alternatively you may call me at 91234567 to schedule a
interview.
Warmest Regards,
Yechuan.
Education:
2nd Year Undergraduate at NUS School of
Engineering ;Pursing a degree in Electrical Engineering.
Prior Qualifications Includes 'A' and' O'
level Certifications. Taken At SRJC and ACS respectively.
· National University of Singapore
(Engineering)
· Serangoon Junior College (Science)
-Class Representative
-1st Runner up Tchoukball 'A' Division
-Class Representative
-1st Runner up Tchoukball 'A' Division
· Anglo Chinese School (Barker) (Pure Sciences)
· St
Patrick's Secondary School
- Represented School in Basketball 'C' Division
- Represented School in Basketball 'C' Division
· St Andrew's Junior School
May 2012-August 2012
Future Electronics Pte Ltd
Warehouse Assistant
·
Perform
daily packing activities such as weighing, wrapping, sealing and labeling an
extensive range of electronic component parts by hand
· Responsible for filling the packing list for customers and sending out finished packaged cartons of electronic components
· Fill in reject tags for non-conforming parts detected
· Ensure using proper packaging material and pack in the most economical way
· Fill in packing lists for customers
· Ensure that customer labels are pasted on the right shipping carton
· Assist with ad-hoc urgent shipments
· Responsible for filling the packing list for customers and sending out finished packaged cartons of electronic components
· Fill in reject tags for non-conforming parts detected
· Ensure using proper packaging material and pack in the most economical way
· Fill in packing lists for customers
· Ensure that customer labels are pasted on the right shipping carton
· Assist with ad-hoc urgent shipments
Feb 2011-August 2011
Gauging & Automation Pte Ltd
Sales Engineer
- Sales of Chart Paper, Pens & Spare Parts ( Graphic Control, UK )
- Pressure, Flow, Temperature Recorders. Turbine meters, Flow Computers, Thermowell ( Cameron USA/UK )
- Pressure ,Temperature Gauges ( Rototherm UK )
- Responsible for drafting up purchase orders ( SO) , Order confirmations ( CO )& Performa Invoices.
- Liaise with our supplier to get the best lead time for our end user.
- Load and unload the goods & repackage it if necessary once it arrives in our storage room.
- Conduct Bi-monthly Stock take.
- Ordering inventory
- Responsible for the sale of Engineering products, to advise & to liaise with end user on the correct Specifications to be used.
April 2009- Feb 2011
Singapore Armed Forces
Combat Engineer
- Bridging Combat Engineer Pioneer ( Corporal )
- IPPT Gold ( 2009,2010)
- M16 Marksman( 2009 )
- SAR21 Marksman (2010)
- SAF Class 3/4/M3G license.
- Responsible for the operation and maintenance of the $4 million M3G.
- Doubled up as an Anchorage Pioneer to do bank preparations during exercise.
December 2009-April 2009
Gauging & Automation Pte Ltd
Accounts Assistant
- Handle multi currencies'
Accounts Receivable/Payable
- Issue of Debit and Credit
Notes
- Update daily receipts and
journals
- Monitor and follow up on
aging invoices
- Cold Call Prospective
customers to arrange for an appointment on behalf of the sales engineers.
- Arrange for interviews on
behalf of MD.
- Any other tasks assigned by
superior
Familiar With A21 Evo Accounting System.
Hello Yechuan, it seems that no one has commented on your blog post yet and I shall attempt to offer some input!
ReplyDeleteI like your application letter and that it is very detailed on your job experience! You are able to communicate in a few short paragraphs an elaboration on the skill sets your job experience has given you. You are concise while still being elaborate.
However, I feel that there are some areas you can improve still.
In your third paragraph, I find myself being able to read it "in your presentation voice". The line "Despite being fresh in the sales scene, I did not disappoint ,and was able to meet my employer’s sales target every single month. " felt a little too much like speech rather than written words. Perhaps you could rephrase it such as: "Working as a front line sales engineer, I have learnt to be well versed technically on the products that the company carries. When meeting with clients, I am able to market the right products that would suit their needs best and as a result, am able to meet the monthly sales target."
Thus this could also further show your marketing skills and the ability to listen to your client and understand what they need. I would probably not write that this is your first sales job. It could be just me, but perhaps as a first-timer your sales target could be lower from a sales rep in a senior position.
In the next line, you talk about communication skills. Perhaps you can rephrase the last line about : "I am also effectively bilingual , with strong spoken command of Both English and Mandarin." By linking it back to your bilingual skills and how you have used it in your job.
Lastly, although this is not really included in the "comment requirement" on my part. I noticed in your CV you had listed out your job description. I went for a career advisory session recently and they had actually advised us against it.
Based on the handout they gave us, we should start our point with our "competencies" followed by our "actions" and end with the "results". Thus we start with an action verb to highlight a skill that we had acquired or honed; talk about what we did, how we did it, who we worked with or tools we used; and end with results that will set us apart.
I thought to share it as it could be useful to you. Perhaps if you are interested I could email you the guide. I found that referring to it as well as the "NUS Career Center Guide 2012" in the typing of the application letter and CV had been quite helpful!
I hope my comments have been helpful.
Cheers!
Hi Isabel,
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to comment!
Regarding the part on the bilingualism , i only included that in because one of the job requirements was for candidates to be proficient in both English and mandarin. But i found it hard to relate to my previous work because most if not all transactions were carried out in English.
I will take note on the other points to improve upon. :)
Hi Yechuan, I like your application letter in the sense, that you took advantage of the opportunity to write about your military service, that is not usual, so congratulations to have this idea. However you can also add another skills that probably you developed during your military service like: commitment to perform activities in time and form, developing a sense of responsibility to be working together for a common good ...I mean you can try to put a little more information about you.
ReplyDeleteWith respect to your resume, do not forget to add a format of your personal data at the beginning of this document.Likewise do not think it is so relevant information from your basic studies (junior-secondary), so you can skip this information.
You could put some point, which identifies that you improved or possess effective communication (like the teamwork in the laboratory/classes in the school or may be one of the military activities).
I hope this comment can help you
Regards
Thanks Juan!
DeleteIndeed it would be better to add the element of discipline and time management into the application letter! Sometimes i tend to overlook them because in my head the word military is already synonymous with those traits, thus i automatically assume everyone feels the same way, leaving it out in the process.
Personal data? Do you mean a personal statement?
Yes, on hindsight putting in primary schools seem very trivial . Who will look at them anyway. ha-ha.
Hi Yechuan,
ReplyDeletePersonally I feel a very good application letter that is waiting to catch the eye of an employer. You have explained very well about skills in the letter and seems to be very impressive for the job you are applying for.
Probably to make it even better I feel you can write paragraph 3 and 4 as totally 3 paragraphs or rather you can split the 3rd paragraph into two.
Other than that I feel Isabel and Juan Mora have done a great job analyzing your application letter.
I think you might be the third person I might be saying this. I think you need not write your name in the Sender's address since you sign in the end.
Also I am not quite sure if it is alright to put warmest regards in the closing and I feel it would be much safer option to put it as Yours sincerely.
Other than these issues you are application letter seems fine
Cheers!
Thanks Edwin!
DeleteAhh, yes its a little lengthy in the middle , isnt it?
I will work on it.
I had actually wanted to be different so i ended off with warmest regards. perhaps it isn't apt for an application letter. I will take note of it!
Hello Yechuan! I found your letter really persuasive! It’s good that you tried to use an active voice rather than a passion one.
ReplyDeleteHowever I do have one suggestion. The line on “I was exposed to various technical products, from ultrasonic clamp on flow meters to oil on water level detection systems.” - is it possible to try to link this to the requirements of the job you’re applying for? I understand that it is surely relevant, but maybe is it better if you are more specific on this one. Perhaps instead of summarizing what you did at your previous line of work, tell them why they should really want you for that point.
Other than that, it looks good to me!
Hi Clarence!
DeleteThanks for the comments!
Whats a passion voice?
These instruments are commonly found in the engineering field, so by stating that i am well versed in them , i was trying to highlight to the employers that i am more than capable to assume the role immediately. Perhaps i should have made it clearer, but i feel somethings are best inferred.
A very concise and well written application letter! maybe expand more about your experience as a bridging operator? if i am correct, everyone serves in the army? how u word ur experience tells the employer what kind of person u r as well as the thinking process...i believe it will make u stand out even more as a candidate!
ReplyDeleteHi Ka Yan,
DeleteI tried to include whatever is relevant from my experiences to the applied job. While there are many other things i did in the army, they were not necessarily relevant to the job i'm applying for.
But i agree with you that some elaboration would be better, after all everyone serves in the military in Singapore. More emphasis to stand out couldn't hurt.