Much has been said of the need to communicate effectively,
it is perhaps of man's innate nature to communicate, after all no man is an
island. Communication is not only limited to the professional setting but in our every day lives, even as we interact with our friends and family. Communication therefore is a skill that we all have to master in our lives.
As a toddler, had Usian Bolt stopped training as soon as he learned to
walk he probably wouldn't be the fastest man alive today.
Likewise knowing how to communicate is not enough , the key
is to learn how to communicate effectively.
I remember vividly a badminton game I had with a friend.
From the way he served the shuttlecock, i already knew I had the game in the
bag. Similarly when communicating, people can usually tell what kind of a
conversation they are getting themselves into from your opening lines. We want
the first few words that come flowing out of our mouth to be refreshing, unique
and special. We want our audience to be captivated and recognize how insightful
we are.
Last Semester during a tutorial for one of the Singapore
studies module, I was seated amongst the history majors, we were told to discuss
in our small groups on why the development state model for Singapore was an apt
one; that drove me absolutely crazy because everyone felt like they had to
prove it in 30 words or less. I was no exception and I hastily rushed an
explanation. Needless to say i made a complete fool out of myself. But I took
away an important lesson that day; if it doesn't make any sense in your head it
probably sounds a lot worse out loud.
Communication is a two way process with a speaker and a
listener, but more often than not the focus is usually on the speaker. But for
communication to be truly effective, the listener plays a vital role as well.
Last January I attended a friend's 21th birthday party. At
the party I noticed one of my friend engaging in a very lively conversation
with an individual he had just met. When it was time to call it a night I asked
him if they had hit it off. He told me that it was probably one of the more
engaging conversation he has had in a long time. Curious on who the other party
was I went on to ask questions about her, but to my surprise he knew nothing
about her; where she was from, where she studied, absolutely nothing!
"Then what did you talk about?" i questioned.
"err... about me?" he answered bashfully, perhaps
only realising then that he had been the focus of attention the whole time. "She
listened to what i had to say and we carried on from there...".
I learnt two things that night, the importance of making the
audience the spotlight and the importance of listening. Indeed, when we take
our time to listen fully instead of trying to compose an immediate response is
that when we do respond we are more able to give a suitable answer. What we say
when do is proof of how well we have listened.
